I’m Jed Rivers, 13, and a seventh grader at Pine Hollow Middle School. I love to play basketball, I’m getting into football a little more, and my favorite subject is the one where I can blend in unnoticed. It used to be that way in Wood Shop, but … stuff happens.

You’re not here to read about just another teen trying to make sense of life. You’re here because you’ve heard or read somewhere that I happen to be not like the others. Cardio-deficient. Living la vida undead (at least that’s what my dad always says, laughing the whole time and telling me I’m lucky I don’t really get it).

I’m a zombie, complerte with limbs that detach at the worst time (as if there is a good time to lose an arm or leg). What I am does not define me. Like any other kid, I love hamburgers, like to stay up late watching horror movies, and look forward to the day I get my driver’s license so I can get out of this backwoods town and terrorize big cities, what with so many human brains living closely to one another.

And if you think I was serious about that last part, you don’t know me at all. So I’m glad you’re here.


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